Tips for Restoring Intimacy in a Long-Term Relationship
If you've been dating someone for a while but
feel that your sex is lacking, please know that you are not alone. Oxytocin, a
hormone that helps turn you on, is said to be released most frequently in the
early stages of a relationship. At the beginning of a relationship, the hormone
is actually so strong that it acts like a drug and constantly makes you crave
sex. However, over time, this hormone's release naturally declines. Pay
attention to smaller details. It makes sense that increasing your physical contact
will help you rekindle your sexual passion because physical contact releases
the hormone that promotes bonding, oxytocin. However, it might seem impossible
to start up a conversation if your relationship is going through a dry spell. HD
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As a result, you should focus on closer
physical contact, such as holding hands, kissing, hugging, or massage. If,
however, you and your partner already have the ideal amount of touch, try
doubling the length of time to boost oxytocin production. Tease as much as you
can to build tension. Because of the way your brain is wired to feel more
pleasure when the anticipation of a reward lasts for a long time, foreplay is
crucial to sexual activity. Take charge and instruct your partner to take their
time if you believe they are moving too quickly.
Encourage them to relax so you can touch them
briefly. Smack their hand away and let them know that you are in charge if they
try to touch you. This allows you to move at your own pace. Once they start
getting really excited, stop them. Allow them to relax and begin to get because
doing otherwise will intensify the orgasm. Schedule some time for your personal
life; don't neglect it. Long-term partners invariably have similar interests
and social circles, but maintaining a life apart from your partner is just as
crucial.
You might, for instance, be a part of a group
or have friends who don't share. You will have topics to discuss with your partner
and will come across as a more interesting person overall if you actively
participate in these activities. When you went on your first date and didn't
know anything about your date because they seemed so mysterious, do you
remember the excitement you felt? It's important to keep this part of yourself
for both you and them.
Every week, set aside time for dates. You
should go on a date each week, whether it's on the weekend or right after work.
For instance, you could dine at a restaurant you've been wanting to try, check
out a recently opened cocktail bar, or order takeout coffee and stroll through
a park. Make a pact not to discuss work or other unappealing aspects of your
daily life, whatever you decide. Instead, try to impress and enthrall your
partner as if you were on a first date. Discuss your week, your favorite jokes,
your objectives, or a game you'd like to play.
What qualities of yours does your partner
find appealing? After dating someone for some time, you might think you know
what they find most attractive about you, but you could be wrong. Our turn-ons
may alter over time as we learn to love our partner's "imperfect"
qualities. Just ask your partner what they like best about you, and then give
them the same answer. This will increase your two people's self-assurance and
might even lead to better sex as you both emphasize or focus on these things
while in bed.
After all, if you feel more confident, you're
more likely to have fulfilling sexual experiences. Have different sex from what
you usually do. It's critical to actively alter your sexual behavior because
having sex in the same way repeatedly can grow monotonous. For instance, if you
usually have sex at night, switch it up and have a quickie during the day. If
you frequently use the same positions, you should fold the pages of the ones
you both want to try into a book of sex positions. Maybe you have sex in bed
every night.
Try doing it in the shower, on the couch, or
at the dining room table. All of these minor changes have the potential to greatly
enhance your sexual experience and arouse fantasies you may not have previously
been aware of. Purchase lube for all the benefits. Contrary to popular
misconception, lube has a lot of beneficial effects in the bedroom and isn't
just for people who feel dry during sex. Wherever it is applied, it can, for
example, increase pleasure by evoking various sensations, such as a warming or
cooling effect.
Some lubes even have the ability to postpone
ejaculation if you want the sex to last longer. Additionally, earlier studies
have shown that lube makes everyone's orgasming 50% easier. Do you need any
more persuasion for you to buy it? Stay away from your bedroom with your phone.
Another way to improve your sexual life is to strictly enforce no phones in the
bedroom. Let's imagine that before going to bed, you scroll on your phone. If
that's the case, you're not only making it more difficult for you to bond with
your partner but it's also possible that being greeted by a social feed of
negative news, rants, and other content is making it more difficult for you to
feel horny.
Spend the final few minutes before bedtime
connecting with your partner, whether it be through sex or conversation, rather
than using your phone while in bed. Spend some time getting ready for sex. It's
crucial to carve out some time for yourself to get sexy because, if you feel
sexier, you'll naturally want more sex. For example, you could shop for
lingerie for yourself, partake in erotic entertainment, masturbate, watch porn,
or watch a sexy movie.
All of the aforementioned have you tried? The
time has come for an open dialogue. If none of the aforementioned methods
succeed in reigniting the flame, it's time to be honest with your partner. But
do it to the best of your ability. That is to say, not just after having sex.
Your partner might start to doubt themselves if you do this. Be careful not to
startle your partner by bringing up your issue unexpectedly. Find a chance that
feels natural instead. For instance, if they casually engage in behavior around
the house that appeals to you.
Ask your partner what their fantasy is
instead if you're watching a TV show where the characters have sex. Finding a
lighthearted topic of conversation is a good place to start. Finally, you
should pay close attention to your language when discussing sex. If you don't
want to make your partner feel attacked, speak in "I" statements
rather than "you" statements. It's crucial to avoid assigning
responsibility.
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