Young adults are better at sex when they understand their emotions
I felt privileged
to be asked to contribute to Student Sexual Health 101, a brand-new interactive
online tool for young adults. I valued the opportunity to share the knowledge
I've acquired over the past 25+ years about sexual health and sexual feelings with
a larger audience online as an office practitioner who spends the majority of
his time counseling individuals and couples. In particular, considering that
the intended audience for Student Sexual Health 101 is young adults who are
just starting to learn about their sexuality. Rape sex
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I was happy to have the chance to assist
young adults with some of their initial and crucial decisions, such as when to
begin having sex with a partner. Here are the initial queries and responses I
had with Student Sexual Health 101's authors and editors, which eventually led
to my contribution to the website's content: SH101: What are the crucial
inquiries to take into account when you are deciding whether to be intimate?
To begin with, you want more than just
physical intimacy. The ideal of physical intimacy is good. What to look for in
a good thing? The idea is straightforward: if something makes you feel good
about yourself, it's good. Sounds fairly simple, huh? That is, if sexual
feelings were straightforward. But they typically aren't. Sex can result in a
variety of contradictory emotions: feelings turned on (good). feeling mature
(good). You feel bad about having to keep some of the information from your
family (bad). fear of becoming pregnant or contracting a disease (bad). Sex
emotions can become very perplexing very quickly. My advice is to reflect on
the physical acts of intimacy you have already shared with your partner. Did
they make you feel confident in yourself?
If so, you might be prepared to continue.
There is no rush, so proceed slowly and keep asking yourself, "Is this
making me feel good or not?" at each step. Never rush a sex session. How
can young adults ascertain their needs, wants, and desires with regard to
physical intimacy? People engage in physical intimacy for a wide range of reasons,
frequently more than one. You'll never be able to fully weigh all the factors
in order to come to a decision. It's usually preferable to trust your feelings
instead.
Pay close attention to how you are feeling as
a result of the current level of physical intimacy. Some people (especially
women) dissociate during sex, which means they have no emotional response at
all. It seems as though their body is there, but their emotions are not. If
this is happening to you, you might want to postpone having sex until you are
fully prepared. The same goes for any other intoxicant, including sexual
excitement.
Most people tend to lose a few IQ points when
they're turned on. Therefore, it is best to think about your emotions before
making choices about having a physical relationship. By doing this, you're
managing your own sexual wellbeing. What should a student do if they want to be
intimate but have these family problems? Due to prior experiences of abuse,
neglect, or other problems, a young person's "emotional foundation"
may not always be as strong as it needs to be for physical intimacy.
Your body or mind may occasionally give you a
clue that something isn't quite right and that you might not be ready just yet.
If you feel physically ill, having difficulty sleeping or concentrating,
anxiety attacks, or "dissociation"—feeling numb or like you're not
fully present—are some of the more prevalent "signs." It takes
courage to tell your partner, "I'm very attracted to you, but I'm just not
emotionally ready to be physical with you." If this occurs, or if you just
have a gut feeling that you're not ready, sometimes that's the most
self-respecting thing to do. People generally admire bravery, so you might be
surprised by your partner's response.
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